No (rose-tinted) specs, please...
K and I were having dinner this evening with a young acquaintance, and I became uncomfortably self-conscious, at one point, sitting across the table from this largely unformed bundle of bright-eyed agreeableness, about how negative I must have sounded about so many topics.
We (that is, K and I) were discussing it later, and I voiced my meta-discomfort about feeling as though I should police my attitude and ration my complaints, and about what drives it: the pervasive social acceptability of eschewing, even ostracizing, people deemed "too negative." Negativephobia has never really struck me as a terribly psychologically healthy trait. I mean, how deep is your everything-is-wonderful-and-I'm-so-nice-ness if it actively endorses social exclusion? And if your vapid have-a-nice-day-ism is so fragile that you can catch contagion from every passing Eeyore, how sure are you that it's an accurate reflection of reality?
And the thing is, I think, is that often that it's not. Also, it's a really, really American foible.
Seriously, British readers: when's the last time you heard someone dropped because of negativity? As opposed to cultivated for what they can bring to a good bitch-and-moan session? Brits don't even whine; they whinge. High-speed drills do not emit an annoying whinge. Separation of concepts.
If I may: I think the difference has something to do with general cultural reactions to the human condition, the ultimate wellspring of negativity, diffused through even the secular sphere by the presence (or absence) of religion.
Americans are in utter denial over death, possibly caused by (or merely exemplified by; need more wine to figure it out) fixation on the afterlife. Death is a moral flaw. If you stay virtuous, stay positive, and follow instructions, you, too, can avoid it (right up until the moment you can't).
Brits, with the more areligious society, look death squarely in the eye, and seek to draw a little comfort from each other in the communication and sharing of their anxieties and dissatisfactions. Me, I find it a humane and warm response to the existential crisis. Monty Python's Always Look on the Bright Side of Life is the apogee of this cultural expression: on the surface, expressing the empty American mantra, but actually containing the rich texture of lines like "life's a piece of shit, when you look at it." These are not an ostracizing people.
None of this is presented to convince. This is presented to explain that K and I (mostly I, but K's fully on board) have decided that we must live in Britain. We've also decided that the best way to do this is for Italo to launch his environmental consulting company and hire us.
No pressure, buddy.
We (that is, K and I) were discussing it later, and I voiced my meta-discomfort about feeling as though I should police my attitude and ration my complaints, and about what drives it: the pervasive social acceptability of eschewing, even ostracizing, people deemed "too negative." Negativephobia has never really struck me as a terribly psychologically healthy trait. I mean, how deep is your everything-is-wonderful-and-I'm-so-nice-ness if it actively endorses social exclusion? And if your vapid have-a-nice-day-ism is so fragile that you can catch contagion from every passing Eeyore, how sure are you that it's an accurate reflection of reality?
And the thing is, I think, is that often that it's not. Also, it's a really, really American foible.
Seriously, British readers: when's the last time you heard someone dropped because of negativity? As opposed to cultivated for what they can bring to a good bitch-and-moan session? Brits don't even whine; they whinge. High-speed drills do not emit an annoying whinge. Separation of concepts.
If I may: I think the difference has something to do with general cultural reactions to the human condition, the ultimate wellspring of negativity, diffused through even the secular sphere by the presence (or absence) of religion.
Americans are in utter denial over death, possibly caused by (or merely exemplified by; need more wine to figure it out) fixation on the afterlife. Death is a moral flaw. If you stay virtuous, stay positive, and follow instructions, you, too, can avoid it (right up until the moment you can't).
Brits, with the more areligious society, look death squarely in the eye, and seek to draw a little comfort from each other in the communication and sharing of their anxieties and dissatisfactions. Me, I find it a humane and warm response to the existential crisis. Monty Python's Always Look on the Bright Side of Life is the apogee of this cultural expression: on the surface, expressing the empty American mantra, but actually containing the rich texture of lines like "life's a piece of shit, when you look at it." These are not an ostracizing people.
None of this is presented to convince. This is presented to explain that K and I (mostly I, but K's fully on board) have decided that we must live in Britain. We've also decided that the best way to do this is for Italo to launch his environmental consulting company and hire us.
No pressure, buddy.
4 Comments:
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Italophile said...
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- 1:08 PM
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Italophile said...
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- 1:14 PM
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esquiver said...
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- 9:03 PM
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Italophile said...
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- 7:53 AM
Post a CommentNow is probably not the time to tell you that I'm actually ignoring all of your recent negative experience with wedding singing, and -- without any guilt or remorse -- joining the wedding-singing profession here.
It's also probably not the time to tell you that I didn't exactly mind the very recent return of a classmate to the U.S., on the grounds that he perhaps took too keenly to the local custom of whingeing. (That said, I may have taken issue because the whinges weren't very clever: London is too crowded, school is too crowded, this pub is too crowded.)
Otherwise, I'm with you all the way.
I mean that last bit: I too love the areligiosity of this country, honor killings and the like aside -- see the URL below. I would love to have you here!
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/21/20090723/tuk-pair-remanded-on-acid-attack-charge-6323e80.html
Oh, phoo. And I suppose marriage is out of the question? ;-)
You had your chance in 1982. ;-)
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