Baby steps
Or, possibly, a breakdown.
So hard to tell, sometimes.
Have you ever had the experience, while awake, of feeling as though you suddenly woke up? And you looked around your office with fresh eyes, and at your work, and, especially, at your boss and your co-workers, and said "what the hell am I doing here?"
I never questioned that my job, piss-poor fit that it's always been, would someday cause me to snap. I just never thought it would be so quiet, so controlled, so visceral, and so definite.
No, I haven't yet quit. But I'm applying for that MIT job, and other applications will follow.
And I contacted my realtor® and called off my househunt.
And I felt hugely, massively...
relieved.
So hard to tell, sometimes.
Have you ever had the experience, while awake, of feeling as though you suddenly woke up? And you looked around your office with fresh eyes, and at your work, and, especially, at your boss and your co-workers, and said "what the hell am I doing here?"
I never questioned that my job, piss-poor fit that it's always been, would someday cause me to snap. I just never thought it would be so quiet, so controlled, so visceral, and so definite.
No, I haven't yet quit. But I'm applying for that MIT job, and other applications will follow.
And I contacted my realtor
And I felt hugely, massively...
relieved.
2 Comments:
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Ryan S said...
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- 11:33 AM
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Esquiver said...
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- 10:37 PM
Post a CommentI'm sorry to hear that the current job isn't satisfying. I'm so out of the loop that my last recollection was that you enjoyed it.
Anyway, feel free to call and bring me up-to-speed.
Aw, hon, there is no loop. There's just a sort of information...trickle.
The enjoyment was the sort that accompanies most of these assignment transitions: a kind of foreshortened cycle of hope, then denial, then misery.
Naturally, I'm re-thinking my re-thinking of it, but that's too self-indulgent to even go on my personal vanity blog. (Not, however, too personal for Facebook. Which, I suppose, really seems to comprise my "loop" these days. Cough.)
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