Good point
E: (bursting through the door) "That's enough! I've had it! I'm starting a guerrilla graffiti campaign on the bus."
K: "Oh, you mean those anti-choice posters?"
E: "No. Well, yes, those too. No, I mean a campaign for bus etiquette. Each bench seat is actually two seats, right? I mean, two, equal-sized seats. There's even a kind of indentation that runs the entire circumference of the divide and clearly indicates where one stops and the other begins."
K: "Your point being....?"
E: "Men. Seriously, look around the bus next time you ride. Every single man is sitting splay-legged, which means that when they have the inside seat, the poor woman on the aisle just gets a seat sliver that she's clinging to, practically falling off. Look at where the seat border indentation is. He's taking up, like, two-thirds total real estate."
K: "Men are, on average, larger."
E: "It's not size, it's courtesy. There'd be plenty of room for them within their side of the bench if they didn't all insist on throwing their knees wide apart. What is that, a territory-marking thing? And we all pay the same fare. I'll tell you what it is: it's unjust."
K: "And your solution is...?"
E: "A few little scrawled reminders on the seat backs. Y'know: "Men! Close your legs, and women would actually have a place to sit."
K: (takes a thoughtful swig of Diet Coke, and mulls) "You may want to re-think that slogan a little."
K: "Oh, you mean those anti-choice posters?"
E: "No. Well, yes, those too. No, I mean a campaign for bus etiquette. Each bench seat is actually two seats, right? I mean, two, equal-sized seats. There's even a kind of indentation that runs the entire circumference of the divide and clearly indicates where one stops and the other begins."
K: "Your point being....?"
E: "Men. Seriously, look around the bus next time you ride. Every single man is sitting splay-legged, which means that when they have the inside seat, the poor woman on the aisle just gets a seat sliver that she's clinging to, practically falling off. Look at where the seat border indentation is. He's taking up, like, two-thirds total real estate."
K: "Men are, on average, larger."
E: "It's not size, it's courtesy. There'd be plenty of room for them within their side of the bench if they didn't all insist on throwing their knees wide apart. What is that, a territory-marking thing? And we all pay the same fare. I'll tell you what it is: it's unjust."
K: "And your solution is...?"
E: "A few little scrawled reminders on the seat backs. Y'know: "Men! Close your legs, and women would actually have a place to sit."
K: (takes a thoughtful swig of Diet Coke, and mulls) "You may want to re-think that slogan a little."
4 Comments:
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Anonymous said...
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- 3:10 PM
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Anonymous said...
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esquiver said...
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- 9:42 PM
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Anonymous said...
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- 2:05 AM
Post a CommentI don't know K. I never served with K. K was never a friend of mine. Senator, you're no...Damn it--I'm doing it again.
But as they said in Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead--K the Saint.....
In terms of slogans, I'd suggest another tactic. Do you recall from a previous firestorm on Esquivalence, where the secret code magic incantation for sexual contact in Great Lakes airport bathroom nookie: 1) Drop brief case against door; 2) Infamous foot tap; 3) *Spread legs*!
Now, while I'm not sure of the specifics, but I think a message that imparts doltish guys who sit in such a manner are in fact sending a secret CRUISER signal, would be more effective than 'Only you can prevent don't pollute so give a hoot forest fires! And show some courtesy for small women while you're at it.'
Not having any personal knowledge (cough cough), I would imagine that the two biggest motivations for men...I mean doltish men would be 1) getting nookie from Eve, AND 2) NOT look like you're looking for nookie from Steve.
So other than suggesting al la Senator Larry Craig (who is NOT gay...he says), some implication that sitting properly is a wild, powerful aphrodisac that throws women into uncontrollable....you get the idea.
You laugh (okay, so you're not laughing), but back in the day a popular anti-draft slogan was 'Girls say yes to Boys who say no.' Of course, there's also a reason why the radical feminist movement grew out of the selfish pig weaselly male dominated aspects of the anti-war movement....but that's another rant.
I remain--
Grandpa Simpsonesque.
Bill Abendroth nee Roth
Brilliant, Bill! Many straight guys are obsessed with not looking gay -- hence, the rapid and welcome demise of metrosexuality.
Oh, hey, now. Look, I can see from the signal-to-noise vantage point how metros might be annoying, but you don't have to deal with straight men, and some of us would prefer to encourage, in every venue and in every possible way, Guys Who Wash, ok?
Wait a minute.....Do you really mean to say...well, 'Girls say yes to men who wash, don't laugh like hyenas at fart jokes, and clean the bathroom'? Is that what you're saying?
Hmmmmm. You could be on to something there....
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