You know you've spent too much time in Southeast Asia when...
The movie theater we went to on Xmas eve, after our dim sum, is one of my faves. Not only does it continue the most excellent pan-Asian tradition in which you select your actual seats on a computer screen when you buy your tickets (why, oh why, don't all movie theaters all over the world do this?), but you can opt for clean, comfortable "luxury seats" with excellent sightlines on a damn good stadium slope for an extra fifty cents, bringing the ticket price up to four bucks. Now if only they ever showed decent movies...
But, "Happy Feet"'ll do in a pinch, and did I mention how I love the theater's ingenuity in trying to impose an American viewing experience on an Indian culture? For example: to discourage queue-jumping, each ticket line is flanked by a set of very solid fences that runs from the funnel-like point of access all the way to the counters. Since queue-jumping will occur wherever two people can stand side-by-side, the space between the walls measures approximately four inches. This set-up works very well in enforcing line etiquette, but it means that once you've purchased your ticket, you're well and truly screwed. Exiting means swimming upstream against some overwhelmingly male, sweaty, and opportunistic salmon, with the situation made all the more farcical by the surroundings' resemblance to an abattoir entrance (to mix carnivorous metaphors).
Inside, there's a similar mix of good intention and unfortunate execution. The extensive concession stand is, in American homage, "movie-themed": on the huge menu marquee, one can find hors d'oeuvres under the heading of "Previews," paneer wraps and aloo tikka burgers (and, more mysteriously, penne all'arrabiata) under "The Main Feature," and so on. Ah, but the otherwise excellent stand is strangely light on desserts. So, instead of putting it under its own heading, the last item on the board proudly offers "The Happy Ending Brownie."
I can't say I've ever ordered it. But no matter how often we go to this theater, I can never read the name without thinking, "Uunnnnhhh... Now that's a good brownie!"
But, "Happy Feet"'ll do in a pinch, and did I mention how I love the theater's ingenuity in trying to impose an American viewing experience on an Indian culture? For example: to discourage queue-jumping, each ticket line is flanked by a set of very solid fences that runs from the funnel-like point of access all the way to the counters. Since queue-jumping will occur wherever two people can stand side-by-side, the space between the walls measures approximately four inches. This set-up works very well in enforcing line etiquette, but it means that once you've purchased your ticket, you're well and truly screwed. Exiting means swimming upstream against some overwhelmingly male, sweaty, and opportunistic salmon, with the situation made all the more farcical by the surroundings' resemblance to an abattoir entrance (to mix carnivorous metaphors).
Inside, there's a similar mix of good intention and unfortunate execution. The extensive concession stand is, in American homage, "movie-themed": on the huge menu marquee, one can find hors d'oeuvres under the heading of "Previews," paneer wraps and aloo tikka burgers (and, more mysteriously, penne all'arrabiata) under "The Main Feature," and so on. Ah, but the otherwise excellent stand is strangely light on desserts. So, instead of putting it under its own heading, the last item on the board proudly offers "The Happy Ending Brownie."
I can't say I've ever ordered it. But no matter how often we go to this theater, I can never read the name without thinking, "Uunnnnhhh... Now that's a good brownie!"
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