Poison pill
Every four to six months or so, we have to take turns being the "on-call" person, and, well, it's my turn in the barrel this week.
The real problem is that the callers seem to think they're reaching some air-conditioned office in Omaha (or more ironically: Bangalore?) staffed by shift workers, instead of waking you up at 2 AM, or, y'know, harshing your cabernet-buzz, or something.
In the interests of the sacrosanct privacy of American citizens, no matter how annoying, I won't reproduce the conversation. Suffice it to say that the caller, from the noontime comfort of her home in NJ, wanted me to take action on something that is so utterly not in my office's jurisdiction, and, over the course of a long conversation, was incredibly condescending and peremptory.
Having ascertained that there was really no emergency, and having assured her I would forward the details to the appropriate branch of my workplace during business hours, I was trying to wrap things up. Annoying Caller announced she herself would follow up with the office during business hours. Even as I was miraculously refraining from asking why the hell she didn't just do that in the first place, AC demanded a case number. There are no case numbers. If we're lucky, we get, like, five calls per week.
AC: "You mean I gotta go through this whole story again?"
Me: "Er...I'm going to forward all the details..."
AC: "I can't effing believe you don't give out effing case numbers. Why can't I just call tomorrow and give someone my case number? Why isn't that the only effing thing I have to do, huh?"
Readers, what to do? I made up a case number.
(Private joke for K: I really, really considered starting it "H-A-R-I.." But didn't.)
Now, the thing is, I'm thinking: when I call the switchboard tomorrow and give them the details, do I tell them I gave her a case number?
Mmmm...I'm thinking not.
The real problem is that the callers seem to think they're reaching some air-conditioned office in Omaha (or more ironically: Bangalore?) staffed by shift workers, instead of waking you up at 2 AM, or, y'know, harshing your cabernet-buzz, or something.
In the interests of the sacrosanct privacy of American citizens, no matter how annoying, I won't reproduce the conversation. Suffice it to say that the caller, from the noontime comfort of her home in NJ, wanted me to take action on something that is so utterly not in my office's jurisdiction, and, over the course of a long conversation, was incredibly condescending and peremptory.
Having ascertained that there was really no emergency, and having assured her I would forward the details to the appropriate branch of my workplace during business hours, I was trying to wrap things up. Annoying Caller announced she herself would follow up with the office during business hours. Even as I was miraculously refraining from asking why the hell she didn't just do that in the first place, AC demanded a case number. There are no case numbers. If we're lucky, we get, like, five calls per week.
AC: "You mean I gotta go through this whole story again?"
Me: "Er...I'm going to forward all the details..."
AC: "I can't effing believe you don't give out effing case numbers. Why can't I just call tomorrow and give someone my case number? Why isn't that the only effing thing I have to do, huh?"
Readers, what to do? I made up a case number.
(Private joke for K: I really, really considered starting it "H-A-R-I.." But didn't.)
Now, the thing is, I'm thinking: when I call the switchboard tomorrow and give them the details, do I tell them I gave her a case number?
Mmmm...I'm thinking not.
2 Comments:
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Anonymous said...
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- 6:48 PM
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Anonymous said...
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- 6:51 PM
Post a Comment"my turn in the barrel"
Heh.
By all means give people a fake case number. People do that to me all the time. I get twenty digit "confirmation numbers," and when I call back and give the number, I am told that my number "does not correspond to anything listed," thereby suggested that I wrote the number down wrong--either that or the number is in fact secret code for "man, is this guy an asshole!"
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