My bionic pincushion breast
Heh. Can't wait to see the kind of google traffic that pulls in.
My appointment for the "mammotone" was at 10 this morning. I was seen at slightly after noon.
"The equipment wasn't available until then," the nurse explained.
"So why make the appointment for 10?" I asked.
We eventually agreed to disagree.
Anyhoo, different doc, one I'd seen before and liked more, despite her disconcerting resemblance to one of Doctor Who (new season)'s companions. I knew enough this time to both ask for more lidocaine and ask her to wait a bit longer before starting, and it made the whole thing virtually painless despite being more invasive this time. I really did lose count of the number of needles, and the main event really was a machine that went "bing," wheeled in from another room. (Doc, smiling sweetly: "You may want to close your eyes for this part.")
And yes, she really did leave a minute piece of titanium -- deliberately, I think -- at the site of the trouble, to make future monitoring easier. I thought about asking for a microchip: you wouldn't believe the number of passwords and combos I have to memorize for work, plus, the cats have them; it'd be sort of sweet and familial.
Unfortunately, in the course of roto-rootering the region, yet another "suspicious area" was identified and consequently biopsied. I'm not too worried; it doesn't seem to have been there last time, and these sorts of lumps crop up periodically (as Obama might say) for me, but, still: another few days of waiting, and then, so help us, the possibility of Round Three. And yes, I do just want to scream, "they're just lumpy, ok? Stop sticking me!"
This post legally enhanced by codeine, by the way. And no, sadly: I don't think one can really tell the difference, either.
My appointment for the "mammotone" was at 10 this morning. I was seen at slightly after noon.
"The equipment wasn't available until then," the nurse explained.
"So why make the appointment for 10?" I asked.
We eventually agreed to disagree.
Anyhoo, different doc, one I'd seen before and liked more, despite her disconcerting resemblance to one of Doctor Who (new season)'s companions. I knew enough this time to both ask for more lidocaine and ask her to wait a bit longer before starting, and it made the whole thing virtually painless despite being more invasive this time. I really did lose count of the number of needles, and the main event really was a machine that went "bing," wheeled in from another room. (Doc, smiling sweetly: "You may want to close your eyes for this part.")
And yes, she really did leave a minute piece of titanium -- deliberately, I think -- at the site of the trouble, to make future monitoring easier. I thought about asking for a microchip: you wouldn't believe the number of passwords and combos I have to memorize for work, plus, the cats have them; it'd be sort of sweet and familial.
Unfortunately, in the course of roto-rootering the region, yet another "suspicious area" was identified and consequently biopsied. I'm not too worried; it doesn't seem to have been there last time, and these sorts of lumps crop up periodically (as Obama might say) for me, but, still: another few days of waiting, and then, so help us, the possibility of Round Three. And yes, I do just want to scream, "they're just lumpy, ok? Stop sticking me!"
This post legally enhanced by codeine, by the way. And no, sadly: I don't think one can really tell the difference, either.
1 Comments:
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Anonymous said...
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- 10:59 PM
Post a CommentYou do realize, of course, that in some circles (I'm just being polite here..resonable minds could differ between 'some' and 'many.' But we digress, mindful of nieces), 'they're just lumpy, ok?' could be seen as a thrown guantlet....Not by me, of course...but I am just saying here....
I am in San Diego as I type this, on a Mac with a keyboard molded for munchkin sized hands. Additionally, for reasons beyond my comprehension, none of the Microsoft keyboard commands are working...'delete' in Mac World, for example, seems to mean 'backspace.' Whatever.
My sister Teresa, the triple cancer survivor, is doing better with round four of the stomach cancer. Nevetheless, life appears to go smoother with me around (go figure), so I'm staying here an extra week...Meaning I will have spent roughly the last five weeks not living at my home. I don't mind that so much, only I miss my computer & my books....not to mention working on my roses....but my cats are getting to be seriously pissed....both metaphorically & literally. I'm really going to have to air out the old homestead on my return.
But that's not what I wanted to write about. Your experience with lidocaine reminds me of the sheer unmitigated joy that was my vasectomy....ESPECIALLY later that night as all the dope started wearing off. But as someone who hates shots (all shots) in the first place....let's just say I jumped for the option of getting 'pain shots' to ease the pain of the REAL pain shots.....Yowsers, as they say.
Oh, and on my return, I'm going to have to seriously start on project 'paint the damn house.' I'm ready to do the work, only my niece (the seventeen year old) has already told me (in no uncertain terms) that she has veto power over any color I may think I want to paint my house.......
I remain:
Obedient servant to all.
Bill Abendroth
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